You know the old saying, right? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me.” If you ever been teased for a physical feature, for not understanding concepts in school, or for your weight, then you know that this saying is false. Sometimes, words are far more painful than a physical hurt. They can impact your heart and mind for a lifetime.
I have struggled with my weight on and off since I was in the 5th grade. Throughout junior high and into high school, I was called “Belly” as a nickname by family members, “moose”, “cow”, and “football head” by classmates. Even though I leaned out and lived a healthy lifestyle in my late teens and into adulthood, the hurtful words impacted my day to day life.
I struggle with body dysmorphia. When I look in the mirror, I only see my flaws: the extra skin from having 3 children, the layer of fat that lines my abdomen from menopause. I choose clothes that are not tight fitting, don’t like to be tickled because I don’t want others to feel my “fat”, don’t look in the mirror while naked (EVER!!), and rarely feel confident with my physique. Most people look at me and see a fit 53-year-old women that has lean muscular legs, toned arms, and more. I only see the areas that could be improved with my body. It is a mental burden I bare daily. By avoiding mirrors, I can forget what I see when I look in one.
The mental battle is becoming easier. I know that I am accepted and loved the way that I am by my Creator, my husband, family and friends. I can turn negative thinking around…most days, and not go down the negative self-talk road.
By taking care of my body physically through exercise, whole nutrition, and lifestyle habits, the mental piece becomes easier to overcome. Self-care is a must for my mental state. Celebrating and complimenting other women, rather than comparing myself to them, allows me to not focus on myself and encourage others instead.
Can you relate at all? What wounds do you carry about how you feel about yourself? Where can you learn to feel more self-confident in just being who you are? I challenge you to seek help from a counselor, pastor, good friend or mentor. Sharing your emotional hurts, especially when it comes to how you feel about yourself physically, can bring life and healing.